I just want to be happy again.

That is all. No posts for now. Bye.

Better late then never.

Yeah I know I'm a loser, I literally had no reason to not post yesterday other than I didn't feel like it. Sorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry, children.

So, Thursday I woke up feeling like death. I had the worse cramps ever because of my monthly visitor. I stayed in bed until my mom came over to ask me if it was time to take me to school yet. She was like "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? WAKE UP. YOU'RE GONNA BE LATE." i was like "I'M DYIIIIIING .." and she was like "oh, please. get up. you're being stupid." but I refused and I ended up staying home :D But now I have a bunch of weekend-homework to make up for monday -.- yipppeeee .

I've literally sat here typing and re-typing this line over & over again with things that I was gonna talk about . But I guess I have writer's block. I have no idea what to write about. Hrm. Wah. Goodnight.

Forever Yours ,

Josefina Del Sol Duarte <3

Zero Tolerance for Indecisiveness

Hellllllo there , beautifuls ! I hope your week was lovely because mine was fine. So , basically theres been a few problems lately . Since we lost spoke , some stuff has happened . 

1 . Drake continues to make me more and more confused . A few days ago , he told me that he wants to remain friends & focus on his school work . The next day , he told EVERYONE that he REALLYREALLY likes me and wished I was his. The day after THAT , he said he likes me "a little" but likes about FIFTY OTHER GIRLS. -___- how annoying. I decided I'm going to stop. This boy changes his mind every other second and I'm not gonna let him be in control of my feelings. It's annoying af and I just wanna live my life.

2. Symphonic Band is back to its suckerness. I'm now at 11th chair out of 14 chairs. And the sad thing is people that I KNOW suck are at a higher chair then me. Wah.

3. I went to this youth group thing on wednesday that reallyreally spoke to me. I'm actually trying to become closer to God, and join "Team Jesus" the way they referred to it. It kinda made me feel bad though because they asked all of us, "Did you come here for Jesus?" and i felt really bad cause I only came because I knew Drake would be there.

4. Remember my "ex-best friend" Matthew that I wasn't really friends with? We're friends again. (: I saw him at the youth group and we started talking again. We're closer than ever. he even said "For a few weeks, I thought you hated me. You'd give me dirty looks a lot!" and i was like "DUDE ! You did too ! I felt really bad cuz I thought we weren't friends anymore.." and he was like "OH HAAYUUL NOO." i love him <3

5. I've been getting more into religion recently..? I'm a Catholic girl, but the youth group I went to was a Baptist church , which I know isn't that different but I'm not really sure anymore. the next day, i went to a different youth group but it was a catholic one and I didn't enjoy it as much. Weird stuff. Hm.

But yes, a lot of weird stuff is going on right now. Tomorrow I'm going to my friends' football game. [My girl friends cheer on the team, and my guy friends play] Sunday, i'm going to one of my new friend's parties. And Monday i'm going to have a summer-type day because its LABOR DAY :D then tuesday back to the torture hole .. YAY LIFE .

 Have a safe weekend ! Hope you have fun , i love you (:

P.S. SHOUTOUT to : B <3 I love you ! You're the only one who actually reads this and then you ask me to elaborate on what I mean in every post (; I hope you actually read this one and feel special . Niffs&Yiffs fo life !<33

Forever Yours ,
Josefina Del Sol Duarte <3

Yay Life.

So, I haven't posted in what feels like forever, I've been really busy with school & stuff so i'm probably only gonna be posting once a week <|3

But updates :

-I still haven't gotten over Drake. lol, I'M A LOSER <3

-there's this one STUPIDFREAKINGIRL who is starting rumors that me & my friend are gonna jump her and a bunch of other lies. really really annoying. like, you have no idea. 

-Symphonic band has actually gotten better. I used to be 10th chair out of 14 but now I'm 5th chair!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHH , so exciting ! :D

-I despise school. Immensely.

-I'm trying to make this post as long as possible ..

-My ex-best friend Matthew has been ignoring me lately. I really don't want to use the term ex-best friend because I'm not really sure if him and I are still friends. We don' even talk anymore when we used to talk EVERYDAY & i feel like he replaced me with his new friends. we've been giving eachother dirty looks all the time lately for no reason and I've said a total of about 10 words to him since school has started.

-I hate drama. Just to let you know.

 My life is pretty busy with STUPID STUFF . AND I'M REALLY BORED RIGHT NOW SO AH. I was going to post yesterday because I was really mad and felt like ranting but I decided not to. I love you all. Have a fun weekend.

Forever Yours,

Josefina Del Sol Duarte <3

I feel like a bad parent

No post today. Really busy. I guess you can count this one. But I wouldn't. Sorrrry ! I realied how much times I mention that nobody read this but I'll do it once more: It probably shouldn't matter because no one sees this anyways. /: OHKAY ANYWAYS, BYE.

Forever Yours, [except today because I'm busy x10 ]

Josefina Del Sol Duarte <3

Back to School Madness

I only use the word madness to catch you, my first day of school was pretty fine. I saw a lot of people. Met some new people. So far my favorite class is Research which sounds REAALLY boring but it's actually just the school's news network. My teacher is hilarious and I love her. All my other classes seem pretty good. C Lunch has turned out not to be that bad since I have a bunch of my friends in it. I miss a lot of people that I don't get to see a lot but I'll eventually find a way to see some old friends. Basically, things have been going smoothly.

Update on things with Drake - Yesterday I saw him at the end of the day, I smiled at him and he looked away and frowned, leaving me puzzled and trying to find an explanation. Today, he was passing by and I looked at him, he immediately looked away and walked faster. My first thought, "Wtf.." My second thought, "Maybe he's just shy..?" but Drake is not a shy guy. So I ask my good old friend Sebastian, "Soooo.. does Drake still like me..?" Sebastian's reply, "No. :( He likes Chrystal." my veryveryvery first thought, "DIE, CHRYSTAL DIE." To explain this, [in short] EVERY SINGLE GUY I HAVE EVER LIKED IN MIDDLE SCHOOL , HAS LIKED CHRYSTAL. THIS GIRL IS LIKE 5 INCHES SHORTER THAN ME, IS A STICK [no offense to skinny girls, but this girl is just too skinny and he no curves anywhere.] AND HER HAIR ALWAYS LOOKS GREASY. WHYWHYWHYWHWHYHWYHYWHWYWHWEKWASDHF;KJL ? 

Anyways, I just said thanks to Sebastian and logged off and listened to some sad music then took a shower because showers make me feel better. So yes, I've come to the remembrance that Drake is stupid. I knew this before, and I have no idea why I had forgotten it. Me just being my stupid self. Yay life.

Sorry for not posting yesterday, when I got home from school I had a huuuge headache and I tried to just ignore it and carry on but it got to the point where the back of my eyeballs hurt and my eyebrows did too. The top of my head ached and I was just like Aggh . My chest felt weird so I started to walk to the bathroom and then a huge splurge of throw up came out of my mouth so I ended up just puking in the toilet for five minutes. Then I went to go get some cereal. Since I'm not even 5 feet, I have to get on my tippy toes and hit the cereal box so that it'll fall down into my hands , but instead of falling down into my hands the cereal came down and hit me in the face. Then I just quietly ate my cereal in agony , told my mom to please put my laundry in the dryer and fold it while I went to bed. She agreed and that is how my night ended.

Once again, to the none of you who read this [maybe someone does? I don't know where to check..] sorry for not posting. I will maybe post again tomorrow. Thanks & good night. (:

Forever Yours,

Josefina Del Sol Duarte <3

School & Other Annoying Things

Alright so school starts on Monday, normally I'd be super excited but this year I just feel kind of sick. I mean, I'm going into 7th grade as you probably know if you follow [which, you obviously don't because I have no followers and no one is reading this post anyway] but, I'm in the band & instead of being in Concert Band, which is 7th grade band, I'm going to being in Symphonic Band which is 8th grade band. I was all excited because I was like "Yay, I'm actually good enough to be in the best band." but the excitedness wore off yesterday when I went to pick up my schedule. Not only am I going to be having band with the eighth graders, but I'm also going to be having LUNCH with the eighth graders.

Lunch with the eighth graders does not sound fun. I hate a lot of the eighth graders because most of them are douchebags and annoying. I wanna have lunch with my friends and have fun with people. But no, I'm only having B Lunch [7th grade lunch] on Tuesdays. Leaving me behind on everything happening and not being able to see my crush or any other of the people who matter to me.

And I feel like this whole lunch thing ruined my whole year. Like, I feel like its not just that i'm having lunch with the eighth graders, I feel like I'm going to BE in the eighth grade. Because I have not a lot of friends in my classes, so I'm not gonna see my friends a lot, and I'm not gonna have lunch with them either. So what does that mean? I'm not gonna see them. Who am I gonna see more often? The freaking eighth graders. Unless I'm taking this all of of proportion, which I probably am. Whatever. I hope its not as bad as I think it will be.

Oh & I forgot to mention the fact that I have no idea what I'm gonna wear on the first day of school. Yeah I know that sounds kinda stupid like, "Omg! What am I gonna wear!" but , I usually have these things planned out like a week in advance. I didn't get as many clothes as I usually do and I don't wanna be stuck wearing the things that I always do.

But yeah, those are the things I wanted to talk about today. Hopefully I can get over the pre-school jitters soon ? That sounded extremely stupid but guess who doesn't care? Yeah.. this post was by far my worst post yet, but once again.. guess who doesn't care.

New post tomorrow, or Monday. Most likely monday to inform you of my first day (:

Forever Yours,

Josefina Del Sol Duarte <3

Another Piece Of My Boring Life

So I'm going to share some more stuff about myself, and see if maybe that'll get someone to actually read this thing. :D Because as far as I know, I have about 2 followers, but I really have no idea. I'm new to blogging so I don't know where to CHECK or where to do anything..

Today's topic will be about .. well, it's not really topic. I'm just sharing some more stuff about myself (: Lately, I've been feeling a little more loser-ish than I usually feel. I've been having a maximum of like 20 people online on facebook when I used to have like 80, i only get like 15 notifications when i log on when i used to get like 60 and today I caught myself wondering, "How did I become such a loser?"

The question isn't really why I'm such a loser. I don't know why I think I'm a loser because I should be proud of myself. You see, the reason that I have been having way less notifications, likes, online people, etc. is because last month I deleted a LOADD of people . I had 244 friends and by the end of the night, I had 70. 

The reason I deleted so many people was because of a guy. I know, your respect for me just dropped a lot but thats not the point. Longlonglong story short, the guy ended up to be the biggest player you will ever meet and only talked to me because he wanted to have sex with me. Which [if you've read my blog] you know is one of the most grossest things to me, to be having sex at such a young age. I got really pissed off and mad and just wanted to kill people after everything that was said between me and this guy. I told my best friend and she had been backing me up, sending him death threats and just being there for me :D but then, after i deleted him I went on a crazy spree . I wanted to delete my whole facebook account because of what had happened because I was so over having everything of my life being announced, reading about people idgaf about and just all the facebook-drama. 

But then I thought about all the things I have on facebook such as, people I have no other way to contact, pictures that I only have on facebook [because the computer that they were on before died] , messages that i haad saved for being so awesome, etc. So, me & my best friend decided, instead of deleting our facebooks [because she wanted to also] , lets just delete EVERYONE that we don't care about, we don't like, we don't talk to, etc. So, me and my best friend had the same exact amount of friends to start out with. 244. After going on my crazy-deleting-people-rampage , I had 70 friends and I was pretty proud of myself for deleting174 people. Wanna know how many people she had after deleting? 11. I was shocked and in awe of her. I was like I can't believe this girl will actually delete all those people. I kept a bunch because i either felt bad for them, knew they'd get mad, and other stuff. But she just was honest and deleted who she WANTED to delete. I felt like a proud mom.

Of course, a bunch of kids re-added me, and i accepted most of them if I felt like I actually cared about them, but a lot of them I just ignored. Theres this one girl who re-added me 5 times. [6 TIMES IF YOU COUNT THE REQUEST SHE SENT ME *AGAIN* TODAY.] and she also sent me 8 facebook messages asking why I deleted her as a friend. You see, these are the people I wanted to rid my online-life of.

So, now you realize that I'm not a loser for having so little people online. I'm a loser for OTHER reasons, ohkay? OH YEAH, I ADMIT IT. 

Thank you for reading my little story thing :) Please follow, comment & all that good stuff . I decided that I'm doing new posts Wednesdays, Fridays, & Mondays. And also whenever else I want to/need to. I love all 3 of you who actually read this ! (:

Forever Yours,

Josefina Del Sol Duarte <3

Where's the love?

So there's this guy, yeah this guy. Let's call him Jake. That's a hot guy name , right? What about Hunter? Drake? Ohh , i like that one :D It might be associated with my love of the actual rapper but WHO cares . "Drake" likes me and he told me that, quite a while ago. It was like, beginning of July, I believe. And I like him too. But, me and him talked about it and we both decided that we wouldn't date until a few weeks into school, and if we still liked eachother we'd go for it, and if it was just -summer thinking- then we'd move on. Also, it had to do with focusing on school, activities, etc. We both agreed. It was a mutual thing. 


So tell me how, out of the blue my friend, Sebastian, messages me "Are you dating Jackson?" and i'm like "..haha, no? Jackson is one of my best guy friends. Why?" Sebatian's reply, "No reason." Don't that just sound really fucking suspicious? I'm like "Dude, there's gotta be a reason." and he just breaks, "Ohkay, well Drake told me you and Jackson were dating." 
By now, I'm like what the fucking fuck? And I was like "Why would Drake tell you that..?" and he's just like "Drake LIKES YOU." and I said, "OBVIOUSLY. but why did he think we were dating?" and hes like "I don't know.. but he said that as soon as you and Jacks 'broke up' he was gonna ask you out." and I was like, "WHATT!" etc. etc. I ended up explaining to Sebastian that me and Jackson weren't dating , we talked about stuff , and bleh bleh HARGY DOO .


So does it end there? No. Weeks later, [ last week actually .. ] my friend Malorie messages me "You're dating Jackson??! CUTE!<3" and i said this, exactly:
"what the FUCK.
why does EVERYONE think i'm dating jacks.
tell WHOEVER THE FUCK told you that to go flush themself in a sinkhole!"
yeah i know, flush yourself in a sinkhole .. ? not exactly clever..
but her reply is, "Oh.. that's what Drake told me."
Me: "WHAT THE FUCK. WHY IS DRAKE TELLING PEOPLE THAT? TELL HIM THAT I'M NOT." and she says "Ohkay, I'm hanging out with him tomorrow so I'll just tell him then." My thoughts were: "You are hanging out with the guy I like and you don't say anything to me? Cool." but i just said thanks (:


So does it end there? No. Apperently, Malorie didn't tell Drake anything. So Drake STILL thinks that I'm "dating Jackson". Then ANOTHER FREAKING PERSON ASKS ME IF I'M DATING JACKSON. I don't even reply to that person I just message this to Drake;  "Uhh , Iddk where you get your sources from , but i'm not dating [nor have i ever dated] jacks . just thought id let you know (:" And he replied something like "Everyone on xbox live was saying that sorrry hahaah " and i was like "wtf.. people talk about me on xbox live? CREEEPYY.." and he was like "Nahh, we just were saying that you're really pretty(:" and i was like DAWWHHHH . and i said thanks or whatever and then the conversation ended and now we're here at present times.

So does it end there? No. Just kidding yeah it does (: But, did Drake ask me out as soon as he realized that me and Jackson weren't dating? No. So now I'm confused . Idek if me & Drake are sticking to our original plan or WHATEVER . just thought i'd share this with you guys. Let me know what you think ? (:


Forever Yours,
Josefina Del Sol Duarte <3

I don't even know anymore.

So I know I already posted twice today, but technically, it's a new day. I just need somewhere to vent.

I was going to keep this blog more on the clean side w/ no bad words or anything but I just need to right now. What the fucking fuck. I wish life wouldn't be so complicated. I wish I could just KNOW, and be done with it. I hate having fucking insecurities and other bullshit to deal with. I hate being a fucking teenager and it sucks. Why do guys play with girls? Why do friends backstab you? These are the fucking questions that haunt me. 

I don't understand why people have to die at such a young age. Why. Why did He have to take them away? At such a young age, she had so much to accomplish, she had hopes and dreams, and things to look forward to. Why the fucking fuck did she have to be taken away?

I don't understand why people have to have problems. Problems like bipolar disorder or hypomania or other shit like that. What the FUCK. WHY CAN'T WE ALL BE DAMN NORMAL PEOPLE AND LIVE HAPPY LIVES? 

I don't understand why I can never find someone who actually understands me, and when I finally do, tonight of all nights, something happens between us leaving me scared & confused. I have no idea what it is and thats what I'm most upset about. 

I don't understand why I spend a lot of my time crying like a little bitch over the stupidest shit that makes no sense. I just don't understand. 

Keep me in your prayers because I am a damn mess right now.

Forever Yours,

Josefina Del Sol Duarte <3

Young & Free

First things first, I don't really think I've talked about how often I'll post these , here's the thing .. I'm going to post these WHENEVER i feel like it . That could be daily, hourly, weekly, i really have no idea .

But to get down to business, there's something that I've been thinking about for a while. So, I'll be a little more honest. I'm not 15, I'm almost 13. Happy? Now you realize I'm still a child. When I say "almost" I mean, i blow my candles in february which is pretty far away.

But has anyone noticed that these days kids are gettting more & more mature? And not in a good way.. meaning, I know I know people my age who talk about having sex. What is this madness?! I know people my age who have HAD sex before. As for me, I celebrate my virgin-status. I think it's gross that people are even thinking about going that far at such a young age. Sure, call me a prude and say that I'm just repressed but I honestly don't care.

I wonder if these kids parents have any idea? I wonder if these kids have any shame? I would be not only ashamed but really embarassed if my parents found out or had any clue. The very thought itself haunts me. Is anyone else seeing this or is it just me? Seriously.

Forever Yours,
Josefina Del Sol Duarte <3

Trusting The Online World

So here's the thing, I've always wanted to make one of these. Wanted to post my thoughts so that people can read them. Basically, I'm a very opinionated person and I'd like to get my thoughts out there. Woah, that made me sound so boring. But you know, whatever..

Let me tell you one thing about this blog, I'm going to complain a lot. Sorry, but I need somewhere to put all my frustrations and annoyances in. And that's what this will be. A bit about myself?

My name is Josefina Del Sol Duarte. Yeah, maybe that's not my actual name.. but that's what you'll know me as , alright? And I'm 15 years old .. but maybe that's not my actual age , but that's what you'll think. (: Ohkay, so Josefina Del Sol Duarte is 15 years old , and what else? I'm a very.. uncoordinated person. Very klutzy, and you can expect me to almost ruin everything. I play two instruments [piano & clarinet] and I like to sing, though I'm not that good. I'd like to be a dancer, but according to my dad "I have no time for that" -.- By the way, I'll probably be complaining about him a lot too. So as you can see, I have a pretty boring life. But school is starting soon. And I'm sure that will give me a lot to talk about. A lot.

So, welcome to my blog. I hope I give you something to think about. If you're someone who is also forever chasing perfection, I hope you feel welcome & comfortable here. I'll probably be doing this for a long time.


Forever Yours,
Josefina Del Sol Duarte <3